Friends, I gotta tell you – I am so tired. 2016 was a whopper of a year.
The twins have assumed their status as,"The Terrible Twos Duo," the big girls have entered the wide world of organized travel sports, I started a new career, and The Donald is about to take office.
Like I said... a whopper of a year.
Every year I make the obligatory New Year's resolutions and every single year I fail at them... miserably. Resolutions are really a positive thing though. They allow us to reflect on our lives and attempt to make necessary changes. Even if we fall off the horse (or in my case fall off of the horse and get trampled to a bloody pulp), they're still a healthy and reflective component of personal growth.
This year I am resolving, with a twist. There will be no diet, exercise, less swearing and drinking, "more church" kind of resolutions. This year I'm simply letting go of the things that are just not productive nor conducive to my life.
The motto of 2017 is: Buh-Bye Mom Guilt! This is the year I give up several of my hard-earned mom-related titles. Such as:
I've been holding onto this bad boy for way too long.
"Mom! Where's my Lego girl with the brown hair?"
"Mom! I can't find that picture that I drew three months ago, where IS IT!?"
"Honey, do you know where my tan socks are?"
You know what guys? I probably do know where all this crap is, but I'm not going to tell you. I'm all done enabling the laziness of this family. Here's a thought: go look for it. If that doesn't work, then go ask your dad.
I will no longer be responsible for keeping track of these menial objects in your life. They're not important – clearly! I mean, you lost them so how vital can they really be? If you were neglectful with your tiny trinkets and lost them, then the natural consequence is YOU LOST THEM. Do not even think about asking me to replace them. If you want a new Shopkin then do some damn chores and buy them yourselves.
I won't lie to you. I went through this crafting and cooking phase a few years ago. I spent days scouring Pinterest looking for easy and adorable crafts, home DIYs, and recipes to try out and wow my friends and family with. Once I "scored" one I ran out to the local market or craft store, spend close to $100 and 25 hours creating a piece of shit.
As if that wasn't bad enough, I plastered my work all over social media and made all of my friends gape at my crappy Styrofoam Christmas Tree.
Do you know how many hours I spent creating special treats and projects for my girls' school events? I'm pretty sure I suffer from carpel tunnel syndrome due to all those long hours of hot gluing and stapling. Pinterest is, unfortunately, like any other addiction. When you're in the throes of the disease you can't see or think clearly. It's hard clawing your way out.
This one is out of there, too. If we're running 15 minutes late for swim practice because you don't feel like coming down the stairs when I call you, then we are not going. If you don't care to walk 12 steps then I don't care to load four kids into the car, drive across town, come back home, unload the kids, reload them an hour later, and come pick you up.
If you're over the age of five and cannot bring yourself to walk up the stairs and get your socks, then you do not get to go outside. Go ahead and lie on the floor sobbing. I do not care, my spoiled little gems. Stop acting as if I'm asking you to walk across hot coals and go get your damn socks!
I've always prided myself on the fact that I pack my children's lunches and they do not buy school lunch. Why did I do this? This doesn't make me a better mother. Their packed lunches aren't even healthier than school lunches. Maybe they once were, but definitely not anymore.
My husband asked me the other day if the kids have been buying school lunches. Why, yes, they have and no, I do not care. It has stressed me out for years, the remembering to make lunches in the eleventh hour. Sometimes I will get to this task, sometimes I won't. I'm not even going to look at the school menu and negotiate which days the kids will buy depending on what the school is serving. Sorry kiddos, pick something off the menu and eat it.
This is the start to my 2017 resolution of letting go. This is the year that I stop aiming for perfection only to be disappointed. I think these are resolutions that I can definitely stick to.