My mother-in-law asked my partner and me what we would be doing on Mothers Day. Our answer: the same thing we do every day. Well be mothering on Mothers Day.Our five-year-old daughter and almost-three-year-old twin sons are too young to fully appreciate what Mothers Day means; we have no expectations of gifts, Hallmark cards, flowers, or even their best behavior. My partner and I dont buy things for each other, and we dont celebrate one mama on Mothers Day and then the other on Fathers Day. We believe Fathers Day should be reserved for dads. We share the second Sunday of every May with each other and all of the other women wiping their brows after a long day of someone calling them mom. However, our daughter has been not-so-secretly working hard all week to prepare for the Mothers Day breakfast her preschool is hosting. That will be where the celebration happens. Our daughter will shower us with the surprises she has made, parade us around her classroom,
Having kids has only strengthened our resolve to be honest and open.My partner and I live as openly as possible. We have not shied away from our sexuality or from the way our family was made. We havent made a production out of our lives (our kids make everything we do a production, though thats another story) but we live as out and proud as our straight neighbors and friends. Having kids has strengthened our resolve to be honest and open. Skirting the truth or avoiding situations will only make our kids feel like there is something to be ashamed of for having two moms. And there absolutely is not. That point will be validated on Friday when I sit down for my special Mothers Day breakfast prepared by five year olds. My daughter, and her two brothers who will be there too, will only feel happiness not in spite of, but because she has two moms who love her so, so much. It is not within my young kids ability to fully comprehend how much we love them and how many sacrifices we make for their happiness, how much thinking we do about protecting them from unkindness, knowing full well we cant. The truth is that they will never really know the depth of our love or understand the selflessness of parenthood until they have kids of their own. While we would welcome a Mothers Day of pampering and being spoiled by our children who only show gratitude and self-sufficiency, its not going to happen. Not this year. But we will watch our daughter mingle with her classmates as we mingle with the other mothers in the room, and we will feel safe and supported. And when we wake up on Sunday, on Mothers Day, we will feel loved. Just like every other day, within the tantrums, uneaten dinners, middle-of-the-night wakeup calls, giggles, tiny arms squeezing us with hugs, and unprompted manners, we will feel the depth of their love for us. And that is all we have ever wanted.