From a young age boys are praised and encouraged when they show direct, confident behaviorswinning a game or climbing to the highest branch.
Girls, Dr. Hinshaw explains, are also told to be ambitious, smart, and successful. But for them the directive comes with conditions that hamper individuation.
Be confident, but not conceited
Be smart, but no one likes a know-it-all
Ambition is good, but trying too hard is bad
Be assertive, but only if it doesnt upset anyone else
Helping your daughter drop unnecessary apologies and begin using clear, direct language will give her a powerful tool for success in the future.
No matter who shes speaking tofriends, teachers, co-workers, or even someday the employees of her own companyknowing how to communicate with confidence sends the message that shes self-assured, proud of her skills, and comfortable expressing her ideas.
And shes not sorry about it one bit.
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