Think You’re Sharing Safely On Instagram? Maybe Not.

I consider myself among the tech-savvier of my friends. Yet, I had no idea until recently that hundreds of photos I’d shared on Instagram had essentially converged to form a heat map of my most frequented haunts. The top hit? (Wait for it…)

My house.

Even when you think you’re being diligent about how you share, posting photos of your kids online comes with a degree of risk. You may be sharing a lot more than you intend.;

Sure, you can set accounts to private and choose not to tag locations, but the truth is, sometimes sneaky features slip under the radar.

Case in point:

I consider myself among the tech-savvier of my friends. Yet, I had no idea until recently that hundreds of photos I’d shared on Instagram had essentially converged to form a heat map of my most frequented haunts. The top hit? (Wait for it…)

My house. (Of course.)

instagram photo map 2
Each cluster of numbered photos can be tapped to zoom deeper into the map. Follow the high numbers, and anyone who can see your photos could easily figure out where you post from most frequently. No hacker skills required.

 

Feeling foolish, I checked in with co-workers (who are also at the top of the social media privacy game) and found they were in the same boat.

Until August, Instagram defaulted to adding each photo you uploaded to the Photo Map feature, whether tagged with a location or not. In an update, they quietly removed the “add to photo map” toggle. Now photos are only added to the map when you specifically tag them with location. Regardless, any photos that were saved to the Photo Map prior to the change remain.

Aside from the few photos I knowingly tagged with location while away from home (which admittedly came in handy for finding a killer bakery on a repeat trip to Montreal), I’d rather not have my place of residence available to any armchair internet sleuth.

Here’s how I fixed it.

instagram photo map7
Once you tap Edit in the upper right corner, the numbers change to green. Tap the cluster you would like to remove from the photo map. (And don’t worry. Removing them from the map will not remove them from your profile.)

 

IG Photo Map 3
On this screen, tap “Deselect All.”

 

IG Photo Map 4
From here, tap “Done. Almost there!

 

IG Photo Map 5
Heck yeah, I want them removed from this creepy map! CONFIRM.

 

Obviously, it’s always an option to disable location in the app completely (On your iPhone, go to Settings > Instagram > Location. Tap Location, and in “Allow Location Access, select “Never.”)

I wish it hadn’t taken me so long to tune into this, but it’s a great reminder that using social media requires due diligence, and nothing posted is ever as private as you may assume.

H/T Brit and Co.

 

Teaching Kids to Give Thanks Is One of the Best Things You Can Do for Them

Research shows that expressing thanks has incredible outcomes for health, happiness, and productivity. Fortunately, there are many simple ways that you can instill gratitude in your kids.

Teaching your kids how to practice gratitude is one of the very best things you can do for them.

This isn’t just a nice thing to say; decades of research shows that people (including kids) who feel gratitude and give thanks are more productive, happier, and mentally and physically healthier.

Measurable Benefits of Gratitude in Kids

According to a 3-year study at the University of California, people who practice gratitude consistently have:

  • Stronger immune systems and healthier blood pressure.
  • Better psychological health, with fewer toxic emotions.
  • Better sleep.
  • Increased mental strength.
  • Greater happiness and optimism.
  • More generosity and compassion.
  • Less loneliness and feelings of isolation.
  • (See footnotes below for links to further sources, studies and research on this topic.)

Kids who understand gratitude have better grades and are less likely to get depressed. They also have greater resilience and empathy.

In  “Making Grateful Kids,” Giacomo Bono, Ph.D., and Jeffrey J. Froh, Psy.D. write:

“Evidence from our own research suggests that grateful young adolescents (ages 11-13), compared to their less grateful counterparts, are happier and more optimistic, have better social support, are more satisfied with their school, family, community, friends, and themselves, and give more emotional support to others. We’ve also found that grateful teens (ages 14-19) are more satisfied with their lives, use their strengths to better their community, are more engaged in their schoolwork and hobbies, have higher grades, and are less envious, depressed, and materialistic.”

Before Science, Religion Understood Gratitude

If the only prayer you ever say in your life is thank you, it will be enough.” – Meister Eckhart

“In every thing give thanks: for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus concerning you.”- 1 Thessalonians 5:18

“Birkot ha-Shachar,” the Jewish prayer of Dawn Blessings recited at the start of each day are a “litany of thanksgiving for life itself” – “Modeh/Modah ani, “I thank you” 

“Allah will reward the grateful.” – Quran 3: 144, Shakir translation

“You have no cause for anything but gratitude and joy.” – The Buddha

“Gratitude is exalted as one of the most important virtues (dharma) in many Hindu texts,” says Dr. Vasudha Narayanan, Distinguished Professor of Religion, University of Florida.

Gratitude is central to every world religion. Indeed, lack of lack of gratitude is frequently considered one of humanities greatest sins.
Gratitude is not only the greatest of virtues, but the parent of all the others. – Cicero

The opposite of gratitude is entitlement. Entitlement stunts resilience and self-sufficiency.  Also, people who lack gratitude also tend to lack empathy. Like “gratitude,” empathy isn’t just a feel-good word: it’s a critical skill for success for our interconnected world.

Every parent knows that young kids are among the least grateful creatures on Earth.

They totally take for granted the nourishing food, warm shelter, education, and entertainment we work so hard to provide for them.

We also know that one our main responsibilities is teaching our kids to give thanks. Almost all kids have to learn how to do this — it’s not something they’re born knowing (though they may be primed for it). They learn how to practice gratitude — and reap its rewards —  through a mix of intentional lessons, practical experience, and exposure to role models.

In an interview with Time Magazine, Christine Carter, director of the Greater Good Science Center Parenting Program at UC Berkeley said that “gratitude only arises naturally without cultivation under conditions of scarcity.”

But a recent study highlighted in the Wall Street Journal showed that gratitude is indeed a mindset that kids can learn. (Research Finds Real Benefits for Kids Who Say ‘Thank You’)

Studies also show that gratitude is strengthened through practice. Teaching gratitude at home can be an intentional practice, backed by simple, practical lessons woven into family life.

Gradually learning to give thanks is part of healthy childhood development.

Most babies are born wired to pay attention to other humans around them. But it takes a few years before they can truly understand or express gratitude. As they grow older, gratitude becomes a sign of emotional maturity.

For young kids, start with having them about the good things that happened in their day (the classic roses and thorns question).

Middle-grade kids are focused on gratitude for gifts and physical goods. Parents can help them extend their gratitude by showing appreciation for non-material things.

High school kids can understand the greater meaning of gratitude as they begin to relate their lives to the context of the greater world.

Tips For Instilling Gratitude in Your Kids

Grandma happily talking and spending time with her grandchildren

1. Model Gratitude

Embodying a grateful attitude might be the most important part of teaching it. That’s because everyday actions can be more impactful than a few big efforts.

In a profile in the Wall Street Journal, University of California, Davis psychology professor Robert Emmons says, “The old adage that virtues are caught, not taught, applies here. It’s not what parents want to hear, but you cannot give your kids something that you yourselves do not have.”

2. Make Sure Kids Are Contributing (aka, Chores)

Household chores have many proven benefits—academically, emotionally and even professionally.

But it also teaches kids to feel gratitude. One of the reasons kids (and grownups) can’t feel or give gratitude is because they simply don’t understand the hard work that goes into making things happen. Chores help teach them that. That’s part of the reason that doing chores is a strong indicator for future success in life.

3. Give Your Kids Allowance – And Let Them Spend It

Just as chores teach kids to appreciate work, allowance teaches kids to appreciate the value of money. When your kids spend your money, it has no meaning. They’ve never put in the hard work to cook, clean, earn, themselves.

Research shows that allowance can lower intrinsic motivation and performance (aka, chores). Read more about the benefits of allowance.

4. Make Time to Give Intentional Appreciations

Appreciation and gratitude are connected. You give it, and you get it.

Family Meetings are a perfect opportunity for sharing appreciations with your family. Corny, but it works.

Creating an intentional space to give appreciations also teaches kids to be specific when they give gratitude and say thanks. Being able to express exactly what one is grateful for is an advanced skill that takes practice to develop.

 5. Create Intentional Family Gratitude Activities

Make a list of all the things each person is grateful for. Hang it someplace highly visible in the house. Pin it up and add to it.

Or, create a gratitude journal. Again, sounds corny but it works. Numerous studies have shown that writing down things we’re grateful for helps people improve happiness and health.

6. Volunteer & Donate to a Cause as a Family

Religion and psychology agree that practicing sacrifice is essential to gratitude.

Service is a key element in fostering gratitude. Everyone needs a helping hand from time to time. Research shows that people feel more grateful as givers rather than as receivers. And volunteering also gives a chance to see how much they may have in contrast to others.

A Practice or an Emotion?

Finally, it’s worth considering what gratitude is in the first place. The classic definition is “the quality of being thankful; readiness to show appreciation for and to return kindness.”

“Piglet noticed that even though he had a Very Small Heart, it could hold a rather large amount of Gratitude.” A.A. Milne.

But is it an emotion, a mindset, a practice or a discipline? Perhaps it’s all of these things. Above all, it can be passed down to your kids and nurtured in the world.

10 Links For Further Reading:
  1. The Science of Gratitude
  2. The Neuroscience of Why Gratitude Makes Us Healthier
  3. Why Gratitude is Good For You
  4. Teach Kids Gratitude With These Tips At Different Ages
  5. Teach Your Child the Importance of Appreciation
  6. Tips for Every Age How To Raise Grateful Kids
  7. Gratitude Activities for the Classroom
  8. In Praise of Gratitude 
  9. Scientifically Proven Benefits of Gratitude 
  10. Seven Ways to Foster Gratitude In Kids