There are moments in motherhood we simply never forget: the first time our child smiles, the first time he takes a step, her very first day of school, the first time he brings home a sheep’s eye in his lunchbox. Oh, wait, did that only happen to me? Yes, I am the lucky winner of that fun parenting moment.
My son was in sixth grade and, though he loves science, he wasn’t looking forward to the upcoming dissection lesson. He tends to get easily grossed out by things of that sort (as does his mother). Driving home from school that particular day, I asked him how it went.
“It was actually really cool,” he replied. “We dissected a sheep’s eye. It was so cool that I asked my teacher if I could keep a piece. And he let me.”
“What do you mean keep a piece? Of the sheep’s eye? Like to take home?”
“So you have it right now?”
Remember when I told you his mother is easily grossed out? In my trying-not-to-freak-out voice I asked, “Where is it?”
“In my lunchbox.” His tone was casual.
“In your lunchbox?!”
“How could you put a sheep’s eye in your lunchbox? That is so gross! Is it in a baggie? Is it wrapped up?”
“No. And it’s not the whole eye, anyway,” he clarified. “It’s just the lens.”
“So you’re telling me the lens of a sheep’s eye is just rolling around your lunchbox? Next to, like, your pretzels.”
My son genuinely did not see anything wrong with this scenario. Furthermore, he also could not locate the piece of the eye when I asked him to take it out so I could sterilize his lunchbox.
So there I was, a seemingly normal 40-year-old woman frantically looking through a lunchbox and backpack, hoping to come across the lens of a sheep’s eye.
You know what’s worse than your son bringing home the lens of a sheep’s eye in his lunchbox? A missing sheep’s eye lens that you now have to worry about stumbling across at some unsuspecting moment in your life.
I remember thinking to myself, “This is one of those moments of motherhood where you realize what a completely wild and crazy ride this is.”
I mean, how many jobs does one mom even have? We are, at various times: chefs, housekeepers, chauffeurs, counselors, nutritionists, event planners, cheerleaders, rule makers, and, always, teachers.
Sometimes, I guess, we’re also sheep’s eye-seekers. Who could ask for anything more?