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The waning days of summer mean our bored baby walruses – errr, children – are headed back to school.
Finally! BUH BYE, children!
So, let’s have a moment of silence for the numbered days of, “Are we there YET?” and, “Ugh, we never do anything fun!”
Of course, the start of the school year means it’s time for that dreaded scavenger hunt: back-to-school shopping.
While you numbly meander through the aisles of box stores, or slowly lose feeling in your mouse hand while loading up your virtual shopping cart, know that we salute you, and we honor the struggle.
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Check out the previous Struggle:
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Go home, baby. You’re drunk.
Classic move, baby.
Long may you run, hilarious video.
4 taboos that parents never, ever admit — and why they should.
Babble.com publishers Rufus Griscom and Alisa Volkman, in a lively tag-team, expose 4 facts that parents never, ever admit — and why they should. Funny and honest, for parents and nonparents alike.
- Taboo number one: you can’t say you didn’t fall in love with your baby in the very first minute.
- Taboo number two. You can’t talk about how lonely having a baby can be.
- Taboo number three: you can’t talk about your miscarriage.
- Taboo number four: you can’t say that your average happiness has declined since having a child.
This teaser for the new Batman LEGO movie is great. (And the actual movie is almost certainly going to be better than Batman v Superman.)
Awwyeah, all the funny ladies are in this epic 30th anniversary re-boot of the beloved classic.
SO FREAKING PUMPED.
Pretty sure I feel exactly the same way about waiting for this flick that my son feels about waiting for the Angry Birds movie — impatient.
WHY DO WE HAVE TO WAIT SOOOO LONG? IT’S TOO LOOONNG. CAN WE WATCH THE TRAILER AGAIN?
Doesn’t matter, it’ll be well worth the wait. The beloved and classic original re-boots with a ladies-only team of joke-telling, ghost-busting all-stars. IN A HEARSE, of course.
So, listen: if there’s something strange in your neighborhood, if there’s something weird and it don’t look good, WHO YOU GONNA CALL?
Kristen Wiig, Melissa McCarthy, Leslie Jones, and Kate McKinnon.
Cuz they ain’t afraid of no ghosts.
Coming JULY 15. Put it in your calendars right now.
Oh hey, and lemme know if you’re thinking drive-in or regs theater.
Get yourself a fresh cup of coffee, watch this ridiculous video, and power through the rest of your day like the CHAMPION YOU ARE.
Honestly, I don’t think I have much to add to the title of this video: Kylo Ren Rides BB-8 and Plays Flaming Bagpipes in the Rain.
Ok, maybe just a few things.
First, let’s consider how many attempts Kylo made before he nailed this blessed video. Probably a whole bunch, right? Hello? It’s RAINING.
So, please, take a moment and give thanks to this guy for NEVER GIVING UP.
Second, note that Kylo masterfully covers Europe’s The Final Countdown.
I say masterfully because if you can play anything on the bagpipes that doesn’t sound like 27 geese being strangled, then, by golly, you are a master.
Add shooting flames and a seamless transition to the Star Wars theme song and, well, you’re a Jedi Master.
Finally, of the many storyline conspiracies surrounding The Force Awakens, we might have overlooked one crucial theory: that Kylo the Scot is actually a thwarted and misunderstood circus performer.
Mhmm. Put that theory in yer bagpipe and
smoke play it.
C’mon, just trust me. You’re gonna love this.
Ok, look. It was either this video, or the one of Kylo Ren playing flaming bagpipes while balancing on BB-8.
Yeah, hmmm. Given that Kylo is deftly covering Europe’s The Final Countdown, that video probably deserves it’s own post too. I’ll work on that.
Meanwhile, LOOK AT THIS DINO-RIDES-HORSE SITUATION.
This might be a stretch, but let’s assume I’m sharing this so that world-weary parents — and all humans — can watch this majestic hilarity and feel better about life.
Otherwise, don’t tell my editor you found this here.
Also, if you’re a person who wakes up in the morning and thinks: today I’m gonna don an awesome dinosaur costume and ride a prancing horse, then please advised: I would like to be your friend.
Sometimes the Internet is a terrible place.
But man, sometimes it’s as strangely joyful as a dinosaur riding a prancing horse.
To win at life, you gotta dance like no one’s watching. Or, like everyone’s watching.
Clearly, Alicia Keys is this guy’s jam. And no one, no one, no one can get in the way of what he’s feeling.
And feel it, he does. So hard. All in.
Besides being an excellent distraction from whatever productive thing you were trying to do, this video is a highly watchable metaphor for how to win life:
[su_highlight background=”#fbdc20″]1 |[/su_highlight] This guy makes an earnest effort. If you’re gonna do a thing, don’t half-ass it.
[su_highlight background=”#fbdc20″]2 |[/su_highlight] He’s wearing an anchor motif sweatshirt — an obvious nod to his seafaring backdrop. Respect where you’re already at, always.
[su_highlight background=”#fbdc20″]3 |[/su_highlight] Multiple slushy running man moves. The hard thing is often the best thing.
[su_highlight background=”#fbdc20″]4 |[/su_highlight] He vibes so big, he wipes out. Feel the feels, man. Let it fly.
[su_highlight background=”#fbdc20″]5 |[/su_highlight] He struggles to get back on his feet, ultimately prevailing. YOU JUST GOTTA KEEP GOING, PEOPLE.
[su_highlight background=”#fbdc20″]6 |[/su_highlight] When it’s all over, he walks away. Because eventually, you gotta know when a thing is done and move on.
[su_highlight background=”#fbdc20″]7 |[/su_highlight] None of this would have been possible without the one man #squad in the background holding up the sound system à la John Cusack in Say Anything. Always have — and be — a friend with this level of loyalty.
The 5th grade students of Girls Prep Bronx Charter School spent a day in court trying European explorer Ferdinand Magellan for his crimes.
Ferdinand Magellan was tried in court by 5th grade girls for making people eat rats, among other crimes.
The eager students from Girls Prep Bronx Charter School stepped on a train in the Bronx, rode into Manhattan, and entered the courtroom of Federal Judge Sally Chapman to try their case. Divided into teams, students both prosecuted and defended the European explorer.
Judge Chapman told Mashable:
I don’t know anything about a lot of them individually, but sheerly by the demographic, they have a tough road ahead of them. They’re in the Bronx and they’re largely of color…there are so many hurdles.
The girls stood on boxes to reach the podium, acted as key witnesses, and presented closing arguments.
Why provide this experience? According to the Judge, the reason is simple:
I want them to grow up to feel they have potential, they can participate.
That’s a big YES PLEASE to empowering and experiential learning in schools.
Dallas Zoo has two new flightless birds in residence and the cuteness factor is over the top.
C’MON. These baby penguins are the CUTEST.
Born at The Dallas Zoo, the flightless baby birds have not yet been named. Which is upsetting to me, so I named them.
Welcome, Junior and Junior Jr!
These two little boos hatched 4 days apart. During that time, Junior could be heard squawking: HURRY UP, EGG! GAWD, YER SO SLOW. MOM, I’M BORED!
Once hatched, Junior Jr was introduced to Junior and a serious snuggle sesh ensued.
Awwwww. It’s so cute when siblings still like each other.
Dallas Zoo could not be reached for comment. Which is too bad cuz I wanna know WHY THIS VIDEO IS ONLY 52 SECONDS. WHY, Zoo, WHY?!