According The Onion, these are the pros of screen time for kids
PROS
- Provides desensitization needed to face horrors of real life
- Sedentary, obese children significantly easier to babysit
- Prevents children from taking up hobbies youd have to feign interest in
- Comfort in knowing Mariska Hargitay watching over your children
- Finite battery life an important lesson on mortality
- Digital era a perfect scapegoat for childs all-around terrible upbringing
