Ten Reasons My Roommates Are Terrible

1 | They are both students so they are always broke, never pay rent, and refuse to put their names on any utility bills. 2 | One of them walks around the house naked most of the day leaving a trail of cracker crumbs behind him. 3 | They borrow my things without asking. I found my iPad on the floor with a battery charge of 7%. 4 | The older one hasn’t washed his hair in six weeks. 5 | The other barges in on me in the bathroom, gets into the shower, and leaves MY towel in a heap on his bedroom floor. 6 | They rummage through my drawers and the boxes on my dresser, they take the cards out of my wallet, and even sometimes steal my dollar bills and taunt me about it. 7 | They fight with each other every day. Sometimes they even get violent. Then they expect me to referee. 8 | Neither of them has ever given me a ride anywhere, or picked up the tab for dinner. Yet they expect me to drive them around and pay for everything. 9 | Every single time I make toast they seem to sniff it out and show up in the kitchen STARVING. 10 | Their music stinks. It's a good thing they're cute, or they would probably be out on the street by now.