I used to think "Weird Al" songs were just funny. But now that I’m a parent, many of my favorite lyrics speak to me on a deeper level. In fact, "Weird Al" seems to have written a song about almost every parental hardship, from the struggle to feed my kids a healthy meal to my total lack of a functional brain.
Maybe you can relate, too:
Don't want to argue, I don't want to debate Don't want to hear about what kind of food you hate You won't get no dessert 'till you clean off your plate So eat it
Seriously kid! Just eat your dinner. It’s not poison, it’s chicken. JUST EAT IT.
My my my my TV makes me so bored Makes me say, oh my lord What is this garbage here? Wanna cover my eyes and plug my ears It sucks, and that's no lie It's about as much fun as watching paint dry Lowers my IQ one notch And that's the reason why, uh, I can't watch
I’m begging you sweetie, please don’t make me sit through another episode of “Paw Patrol.” Or “Shimmer and Shine.” Or (shudder) “Caillou.” I can’t do it!
Everything you know is wrong Black is white, up is down and short is long And everything you thought was just so Important doesn't matterEverything you know is wrong Just forget the words and sing along All you need to understand is Everything you know is wrong
Before I was a parent I thought I knew a few things about logic. Now I spend 15 minutes apologizing to a furious four-year-old that all the rocket crackers are gone because he ate them. Everything I knew was wrong.
Gotta boogie (gotta boogie) Gotta boogie (gotta boogie) Gotta boogie (gotta boogie) Gotta boogie on my finger and I can't shake it off
My kids are covered with boogers. Boogers drip out of their noses, cover their sleeves, and slime up their hair. So of course, their boogers are all over me. I’m covered in child snot and it’s never coming off.
Some girls like to buy new shoes And others like drivin' trucks and wearing tattoos There's only one thing that they all like a bunch Oh, girls, they want to have lunch Oh, girls just want to have lunch
I have exactly five minutes to prepare, serve, and get the kids to eat a midday meal before they scream, worm out of their chairs, and take their pants off. You guys, I just want to eat lunch. And no, a handful of Cheerios from the floor doesn’t count.
They got hands all covered with fungus They got eyes like some kinda bug I sure hope they don't come in here I just shampooed the rugRun for your lives (Slime creatures from outer space) (Slime creatures from outer space)
Piles of dishes, mounds of laundry, toys everywhere, mud on the…is that poop??? Who pooped on the floor? It’s almost as if my kids were sent from a different planet with the sole mission of making our house mucky and disgusting. It’s an invasion!
Pregnancy brain is one thing, but parent brain? Oh, parent brain lasts forever. I forget simple words like “filing cabinet” and “toilet.” I enter rooms with a purpose and forget what it was. I call my children, dog, cat, husband and even myself by the wrong name daily. But I accept it. I am daring to be this unabashedly stupid.
And it’s all because I know at least "Weird Al" has my back.