Scorpio May 2016 Horoscope

by ParentCo. April 29, 2016

animation of scorpion with caption Scorpio

You, sleuthing smarty-pants, you. You’re so good at solving puzzles, you should go to Florida and challenge a whole retirement community to a Sudoku tournament!

You’d win all the trophies and all the golf carts and all the condos that have been sitting there since the market went belly up back in 2008. You also like depth, loyalty, and intimacy. You might be a little obsessive though. Sometimes you stay up at night wondering what, exactly, that one guy meant when he said that thing that time. Here’s an idea: STOP IT. You know what you know, so know it, and get some sleep already. You don't want your kids bringing flowers to a headstone that reads: R.I.P. Dad, He Obsessed A Lot About What That One Guy Meant When He Said That Thing. Not that you wanna talk about being dead either, but lemme tell you something: nobody makes it out alive. Scorpsie, you gotta tap into this hard truth, and live your life with a measure of new-found abandon. You work hard, you’ve been a good person — let go a little. I'm not saying go blow all your cash, because May is not a good month for that. I’m saying this: be your own best kind and loving friend.


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