Taurus May 2016 Horoscope

by ParentCo. April 29, 2016

animation of a bull with caption taurus

Listen, Taurus, we appreciate your tenacity and patience, but you have GOT to leave the party earlier. Try leaving just after it peaks, it always gets messy after that anyway.

No more sticking around until it’s half-past-over. This applies to playdates too. Don’t stay until the bitter end — when has that ever gone well? Name one time you were glad you stayed alllll the way until your kid was so tired and hungry that he cried, pooped his pants, and smashed berries into the carpet — on purpose. Need a cue? The banana bread is all gone, dude. GO HOME. Also, Venus borrowed your boyfriend jeans and plans to hang around a while. Translation: it’s a good month to bring the romance, mmm'kay? Money is on your side too, so definitely discuss raises and promotions, but wait until Mercury pulls its shit together later in the month before you make any final decisions. Oh and hey, communication will be a bit of a sticky wicket this month. Like...people wearing lawn whites and day-drinking mojitos sticky. So, use a little finesse with the shot. Don’t throw the mallet at the ball and expect to win.


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