To the Women in My Facebook Mom's Group: Stop Apologizing for Your First World Problems

by ParentCo. September 06, 2016

Dear Moms in My Facebook Mom's Group,

We all have one thing in common: we are moms. When you post that you "literally can’t anymore," I feel you. I know where you are, I was there yesterday. I may have still been locked in my bathroom while reading your post.

To the mom who insisted that instead of Foto Friday, it was Fuck it Friday, I get it. I've had 16 consecutive Fuck it Fridays. Our little group is your safe place, a place without judgment. Without judgment. It’s like therapy, but cheaper.

I like that it’s super selective. I like that we come from all over the country, different backgrounds, and different levels of education. I love to watch your children grow and accomplish their goals. I can’t wait to read all about your girls’ night and see the drunken pictures that you can’t post on your own wall.

I feel your pain when life is sucking the life out of you. I've been there. And although I can’t offer any real advice, know that you are not alone. We moms need this outlet, this judgment-free zone. It’s the equivalent of grabbing a drink at happy hour. We can bitch about our spouses, our jobs, and our kids. We can ask advice, give advice, and we feel a sense of community. It’s our safe place in a world of uncertainty.

We may never meet; we may never get to actually have that drink together, but that doesn’t mean you are not in my thoughts daily. When your mom is sick and your kid threw up at school, I'm thinking about you. I'm wondering how you're holding up under the pressure. I'm waiting for your update. When you post that you "know these are First World problems," I get sad. I'm sad that you feel bad and have to justify your feelings.

We know that when your favorite leggings rip, it's a first world problem. We know that there are bigger issues in the world than that time your kid threw a tantrum in Target. We know other people are starving, dying, and suppressed. But we feel your pain. And that’s why we are all in this group – to vent and to listen and to bond about life. Life sucks sometimes. We should be able to express how much without including #firstworldproblems. Don’t apologize. Own it.

We need to stop justifying our feelings. We need to forgive ourselves for having normal feelings. When life gets hard, we should be able to tell each other how much it sucks without condition. These First World problems are what bring us together. That’s why these groups exist to begin with.

With more mothers working, there are fewer opportunities to have play dates and commiserate in person. We don’t have the time in our busy, messy lives to entertain. Our Facebook group is the modern day equivalent of sitting at the kitchen table drinking a cup of coffee spiked with Bailey’s Irish Cream.

So please stop feeling bad about feeling bad. We understand. We get it. Sometimes we all just need an outlet to keep us from running away with the pool boy (a First World problem).

Love always,

Your Fellow First World Mom



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