At the very beginning of our adoption process, before we embarked upon the serious paperwork, my husband and I filled out a questionnaire designed to measure our adoptive-aptitude. The questionnaire asked prospective parents to rate a list of statements using the familiar lexicon: strongly agree, somewhat agree, somewhat disagree, strongly disagree.
The statements were opinionated generalities, obviously intended to weed out couples not suited to raise someone else’s offspring. They included:
- Passing my genes along to my children is my primary legacy.
- Love is a biological function.
- A woman’s most important role in life is to give birth.
- I will always regret not reproducing.
- Biological heritage is foundational to a family.
- The best part about parenting is “seeing” yourself in your kids.
- My extended family is capable of accepting an adopted child.
- My spouse is reluctant to give up hopes of our own baby.
- Adopted children have more problems than birth children.
- It is fine to keep adoption status a secret.