The Art of Staying in Love While Managing Motherhood

by Breanna Howell March 27, 2024

family time outside

Balancing being a mom and a wife is an art. Sometimes, it seems like the tasks are endless, from working to taking care of the kids and the home. This may start to interfere with your romance but it doesn’t have to. Instead of falling into a rut when life gets in the way, you and your partner can still find ways to stay in love.

Understanding the Shifts in Relationship Dynamics

Imagine being a couple for the longest time, and suddenly, there is another beautiful human to love and care for. This is a huge step in any relationship, and it certainly shows by how the dynamics shift. You should know what to expect and then learn how to deal with the issues that arise each day.

Physical and Mental Exhaustion

One of the leading causes of tension for couples is exhaustion, especially for new parents. Being deprived of sleep and constantly providing the babies with everything they need can be tiring, taking a toll on both of you. Older children also need attention; preparing them for school, packing lunches, pick-ups and drop-offs, play dates, and other tasks can get exhausting, both physically and mentally.

Emotional Changes

With exhaustion comes emotional changes. Tempers easily rise, and there is tension among couples. Again, when you two have different views on parenting, conflicts easily arise. It takes a lot of patience to keep your emotions in check when a lot is happening at the same time.

Shifting Priorities

One day, you only have your partner to love and worry about; the next, there are other very important humans in your life. Parents’ attention easily shifts to the kids, making it a struggle to maintain affection for each other. Partners feel sidelined as the love and attention seem to go to the baby.

5 Essentials For Keeping Your Romance Alive While Being a Good Mom

It is clear that the transition is huge and can be overwhelming for any mother. On one hand, you want to be a great parent, but on the other, you feel neglected by your partner. Once you embrace the change, you are a step closer to building back the romance; here’s how to do that.

Communicating: The Foundation of Reconnection

The power of open dialogue

Honest and open communication goes a very long way towards reigniting the spark. Remember that you two are going through the same thing at the moment and have to be strong for each other. When you are calm, have a chat with your partner, talking through the happenings of the day, your challenges and the solutions. You realize that you get closer every day when you open up instead of letting your frustrations win.

Keeping The Spark Alive

Date nights and quality time

The key to staying in love even as a mom is doing the same things you used to do before the baby came. If you were big on date nights, gifting, spending quality time together, or telling each other words of affirmation, try to bring all those love languages back. Your dates don’t even have to be all out; a simple picnic in the yard or a walk will do, or you can call in a babysitter to watch the kids as you go out for an uninterrupted date night.

Affection and appreciation

Try to love your partner in their love language to maintain the connection. You may have to tone it down a little when the kids are around, but don’t forget to show affection. You can hold hands while walking or sitting at home, greet or say goodbye with a kiss, or leave each other sweet notes around the house. Also, loudly and sincerely appreciate each other’s efforts for encouragement.

Symbols of unbroken commitment

One way to silently show your partner your unwavering love and commitment is by keeping your engagement ring or wedding band on. It shows that no matter what new changes come your way, you are still dedicated to going through the journey with them.

Self-Caring and Individual Identity

The importance of personal time

While trying to reconnect with your love and focus on your relationship, also remember the importance of self-care. Taking time for yourself means shutting off for a while each day to relax and recharge. You realize that it is great for your mental and even physical health and will go a long way to help strengthen your bond.

Pursuing individual interests

Scheduling “me” time is a game changer for any relationship. While you love and enjoy being a mom, you still need to take care of yourself by taking time off to pursue personal interests. Do what you loved to do before: read books, catch up with your shows, go to the gym, or take up a new hobby. The happier you are, the easier it is to love yourself and your partner.

Building a Support System

Leaning on family and friends

Ever heard of the saying “It takes a village”? You need all the help you can get to ease the pressure off of you. If you are a stay-at-home mum, the tasks can get overbearing, and there is no time to think about other people besides the kids. That’s why you need help from your friends and family members whenever they can, be it babysitting, chores, grocery runs, or any other duty.

Seeking professional guidance

Couples that find it hard to maintain their spark when the kids come along sometimes seek professional help. There are specific professional tools that you can use for your relationship and make it work under the guidance of an expert.

Adapting To Each Stage of Parenthood

Growing together through changes

When you both understand that there will be massive shifts in your relationships, the easier it gets to deal with them as they come. It is best to commit to standing by each other through all the stages of parenthood, from the time the baby is born to well after the toddler stage.

Rekindling romance postpartum

The trick to rekindling your romance postpartum is by loving your partner in their love language. Try to get the groove back the same way you did before the baby, whether it is by cuddling a little longer, taking baths together, staying up late talking, giving massages, complimenting each other, or any other romantic activity.


It is expected that there will be a massive shift in the relationship dynamics after being parents. It can easily take a toll on your romance unless you are kind, patient, and understanding with each other. Remember the love you had for your partner before the babies came, and enjoy the fact that you are taking an amazing journey together. With the tips above, you can bring romance back into your lives; welcoming additional members into the family should make the bond even stronger, not dim the spark.

Breanna Howell


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