I havent confirmed the history here, but Im going to go ahead and assume that Fathers Day comes after Mothers Day because hey, how the hell are we supposed to know how much trouble to go to? Lets gauge just what can be expected based on the facts...
You let the kids pick it out. They chose a keychain with my name on it (bonus points for correct spelling) and a suite of raspberry scented body care products that will likely outlast the apocalypse. Well, except the fragrance mist which the three year old reclaimed for herself and spilled all over her comforter leaving her bedroom smelling like the backstage of a strip club.
Expect that well undertake the same experiment. Youll likely end up with a hot sauce sampler and three pounds of batteries.
A homemade coupon book
Ill promise to stop signing my emails Tim Riggins Forever and a throw in an I wont make that face when you load the dishwasher like its actually a hamper for one whole month policy.
A weed whacker
How good were they? Good enough to hide from the kids? Or did you snatch a cellophane wrapped box of sadness off the pitifully empty shelves of a poorly lit Rite-Aid? Expect a six-pack of a quality dependent on your offerings. Handmade sea salt caramels? Here. Have a local craft brew. A Whitmans sampler? Hope you enjoy cracking open a lukewarm Bud Light Lime.
Slippers (Ive never worn slippers.)
A tie (You work from home in your boxers.)
This has a wide array of possibility. When chosen with careful consideration for the collection I already have, youve done good. This bodes well for you as you will likely win this years unspoken gift-off. If you bought a charm for a bracelet I dont even own, well, youve always been more giving than observant. (I win.)
It’s the New Year, and I have been doing a lot of thinking. I want to say, with all of my heart and all of my soul, that I am sorry. I want apologize for anything (and everything) I have said or done that made you feel less-than or sad or small.
This year I am resolving, with a twist. There will be no diet, exercise, less swearing and drinking, "more church" kind of resolutions. This year I'm simply letting go of the things that are just not productive nor conducive to my life. This is the year I give up several of my hard-earned mom-related titles.
Surround yourself and your kids with piles of magazines and update vision boards for the fresh, new year to come. If nothing else came from this evening together, we exercised our creativity and bonded while reenacting some of the over-the-top advertisements we came across.