How to Get a Compliment, Fast!

by ParentCo. February 14, 2017

female in front of blue wall with kissing face

Craving a compliment? Don’t feel shy about it. While you’d never let on that being openly praised is your goal, it is an end game worth going after. You know getting compliments is good for your kids, so why not for you, too? For starters, praise can induce feelings of happiness, motivation, and even improve memory and task performance, according to a study out of the National Institute for Psychological Sciences in Japan. Another study, published in the journal Neuron, showed that receiving a compliment causes a psychological boost akin to being given cash. An area of the brain called the Striatum is activated in both circumstances, demonstrating that how we perceive ourselves to be viewed by others has a major impact on our behaviors. (Thanks to Kaia Roman at Mind Body Green for translating the data). Knowing all that, it’s well worth it to stack the deck in your favor every once in awhile.

How to Get a Compliment: The Level Up Method

The secret lies in a fairly simple styling technique. The only prerequisite is a knowledge of how you normally dress. Then, when planning your next outfit, follow these steps:
  1. Pull out what you would normally wear. For example, my friend’s daughter’s birthday party was taking place on a Saturday, in a fairly casual setting. I had normal weekend wear planned: striped T, skinny jeans, moto boots.
  2. Choose an occasion that is a “level up” in dressiness. In my case, a work party would be a dressier occasion than a kid’s party, so that’s what I imagined.
  3. Swap out one item that will “level up” your first look. Now you are going for the dressiness required of your “step 2 occasion.” In my case, swapping jeans for a pleated black midi skirt took my outfit from casual to festive. I wore the skirt to the kid’s party and brought an elevated mood with me.
You can apply this framework to any situation. For instance, if it’s:
  • A regular workday – level up to what you’d wear on a day when you had a presentation to give.
  • Date night on a Tuesday – level up to what you might wear on a Friday.
  • An informational interview – dress as if it were a full-fledged job interview.
In each case, you will likely feel overdressed, but you’ll also be sending a signal to whoever you are with that you’re really engaged in them, and the occasion. Now, while this method works for me most of the time, it doesn’t always happen in the way I think. For instance, I may not get a direct compliment on my outfit. It might be a general compliment. It might be a warmer greeting than usual. Or, in a few cases, the compliment might not come at all.

Positive Side Effects of the Level Up Method

There are two positive side effects of the Level Up Method that don’t rely on the compliment itself.
  1. You will wear more of your closet, more often. The Wall Street Journal recently reported that Americans only wear about 20% of what’s in our closets. This method forces you to make use of those “special” pieces.
  2. You will have a better day. A study out of Columbia showed that people dressed in clothes they, themselves, considered to be more formal outperformed their peers in negotiating tasks due to a higher level of strategic thinking. This can have applications in a ton of daily situations.
Good luck leveling up! This article originally appeared on the author’s site,



Also in Conversations

kid playing with water
3 Simple Ways Water Can Calm Your Children

by ParentCo.

As one of our most important natural resources, water provides so many benefits including improving our health and happiness.

Continue Reading

7 Ways to Extend Kindness When a Friend Is Dealing with Infertility

by Pam Moore

You’ve probably struggled to find the right words to say to a friend who has been trying to conceive. According to experts, here's what can help.

Continue Reading

Child is playing game using thread
10 Ways to Relieve Stress While Playing With Your Kids

by ParentCo.

Playtime doesn't only have to be something you do for your kids, it's something you can do for yourself, too.

Continue Reading