The phrase, “I’m too old for this” kept looping through my mind as I was lumbering about heavily pregnant at 41 with my fourth child.
My first children (identical twin boys) were born when I was 30 and my third son when I was 33 still full of energy with no gray hair. When I made it through the first trimester and posted the pregnancy news on Facebook I quickly noticed the, “You’re crazy!” and “Are you SERIOUS?!?” responses far outweighed those offering congratulations. Maybe this was a bad idea. Things had recently hit a nice stride with the three older boys who were more independent and even getting their own breakfast in the morning. Were we totally nuts to hit the reset button and trade this period of life to go back to sleepless nights, diapers and teething on PURPOSE? Not really and here’s why:Surely it’s a gamble to have a baby later in life as pregnancy is considered higher risk and the risk of genetic disorders increases but getting in your car every day and walking across the street is a gamble too. I had a child with special needs when I was 30 so I didn’t pay much attention to the statistics of what could happen with this child because we knew we would love him no matter what.
Of course educate yourself, discuss it with your doctor and be aware of the risks but don’t let a “what if?” prevent you from having the family you want.I feared with a 10 ½ and seven year difference between this baby and his older brothers they might not connect with him or worse, resent him as it would curb their lives. The twins would be freewheeling teens when this one was in preschool. I couldn’t have been more wrong. The joy, fun and wonder this child has brought to his brothers and vice versa is beyond what we ever could have imagined. When one of my twins held him for the first time he beamed and said, “Mom, he is going to be my best friend” and he is. What 14-year-old shares a room with a 3-year-old, by choice? They are pretty inseparable and I love listening to them chat in their room at night, one from his crib to the other in his cool teen IKEA bed.
Birth is not going to go exactly as you had imagined, planned, or expected. That’s why it’s so important to learn how to be your own best advocate in the delivery room.
Laura Richards
Author